but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your penis caused this!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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