When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
