My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
