i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
