I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They took my balls.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
