Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
