Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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