i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
