now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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