Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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