Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
