whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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