He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
