I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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