You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
