Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
