I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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