I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
