Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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