you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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