On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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