he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize