i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
