a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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