Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
