she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
