no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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