You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
