I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize