Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
