I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
