she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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