He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
