Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
