Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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