I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
