yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
