You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She said her name was "party"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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