ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
