So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
