Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
