it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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