my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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