Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
