I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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