remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
