I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He better not be in your backpack
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
