This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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