D3 body, D1 cock
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
