you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
