Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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