I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is the high leading the old right now
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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