Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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