Your mouth is God's brothel.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
