Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
