um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
